reallyreallyreallytrying:

mystic-bullshitt:

reallyreallyreallytrying:

people say dolphins are smart but there not smart enough to not be Shity grey rubber tubes flappin about in the gotdamn ocean

*they’re

congratulations! you are the piss lord of shit mountain. thank u for hefting turds down the mountainside so that we, the proles, may feast on your bounteous craps

(via deluminator)

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In the delivery room

tokomon:

mother: is it a boy or a girl?

doctor: *puts baby between teeth* it’s a metaphor

(via kianlawley)

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scantilycladdad:

TURNT UP? more like learnt up. stay in school

(Source: ancientdad, via zackisontumblr)

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enlargers:

"i dont know about you, but im feeling 22 officer so i dont think these underage drinking charges should really apply to me"

(via fake-mermaid)

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perfectic theme